Updated: Aug 7, 2020
Our personal standards are the benchmark for how we treat ourselves, and allow others to treat us. They determine the boundaries of what we accept or refuse, according to our values and level of self-worth. Greatness requires standards, high ones to be precise. Standards to live by and expect in return for a life of purpose and personal excellence.
Do you know what grieves me the most? Seeing Sheroes settle for way less than they deserve, treat themselves like less than (and allow others to as well) never reaching the fullness of heir potential and height of their personal greatness.
It grieves me, as a Woman and as a Coach.
She Coaches Greatness is all about self-love and thriving in it to live a life of greatness, purpose and ultimate joy from being our best selves. Yep. I love this mission with my whole heart and seeing my fellow Sheroes come to the fullness of who they are is a privilege I don't take lightly.
Greatness requires high standards. High standards require self-worth. Self-worth requires self-love. Self- love requires knowledge and acceptance of self. Knowledge and acceptance of self requires pursuit of purpose. And around we go, back to one! There are no shortcuts nor ifs or buts about it, I've seen too many times how a lack of these can impact our personal standards, and ultimately our purpose! The price is too high, and for me to keep writing, coaching and preaching about the message of self-love, I first want to address key fundamentals that will change the game in your life once you implement these.
We all have our stories and personal journeys (mistakes, lessons, struggles and triumphs) that have shaped the women we are today, and the women we are choosing to become and evolve into to live our greatness. It's a choice!
What do you choose? That is the question.
Today, we'll delve into 6 principles that will help you to uphold, raise or even set high(er) standards for yourself. It will empower you to know your worth and keep walking into the fullness of who you are by accepting what is best for you, and maintain healthy boundaries with others according to the standards you choose to live by. By the end of this post, I hope you get inspiration and insight that propels you to go deeper and higher!
So come with me as we journey to thrive in self-love through 6 principles to uphold high standards and maintain healthy boundaries you can apply everyday to live the amazing life you deserve!
1. Build your Character and commit to Personal Growth
"Human greatness does not lie in wealth or power, but in character and goodness" - Anne Frank
It starts with you and your mindset about you. That is my mantra, and when it comes to standards, it starts with your own heart and commitment to your personal growth to be the best you can be. It is my belief that character is everything. With it, we can build wealth and power, but never have I seen the reverse. As a matter of fact, wealth and power without character can be disastrous!
A commitment to the principle of character and personal growth will see you evolve in every area of your life and build on a strong foundation. How are you building you?
"We are the CEOs of our own companies; Me Inc" (by Tom Peters) and just like a successful organisation; a strong mission and vision, clear values, dedicated workforce, growth and productivity must be put into practice year on year to ensure the longevity of its success. That's the same for you and I, every department of our lives must be thoroughly audited for continuous growth and improvement through a commitment to knowledge, wisdom, understanding and growth to be and do better. It starts with us, by continually developing character and personal growth.
The benefits? Clarity of personal vision and purpose, clarity and peace of mind, self-love, self-respect, focus, increased confidence, wealth building, higher vibration, constant level-up, inner joy, better quality of life and ultimately - greatness. Do you not want this?! Coz I sure do every-single-minute-of-each-day!
Good news is this is an ongoing work and it's never too late to start. We all have areas to grow in, and today is the day to do so 😊. As you journey, my post 3 Timeless Principles That Lead to Greatness can also help you greatly to navigate this point.
*Personal reflections: Where are you on your journey to develop your character? What are the areas of your life where you need to grow in your character? Where are you strong, and where are you weaker? List these and ask yourself why; then think of the resources and actions you can take to help you grow in these areas.
The SHE COACHES GREATNESS JOURNAL + DAILY PLANNER can help you in your character development journey with reflective self-coaching questions and guidance to connect you to your core. It's FREE! Get your copy below.
2. Know Your Worth
You are not just anybody, and you matter.
Without self-worth, one cannot have standards. Because to have standards is to stand, and how can one do so if they don't know their own value?
For you to know what you will and will not stand for is based highly on your identity, values and beliefs about yourself, what you believe you deserve and if you feel you are worthy enough to get it!
So your work is to be clear and stand on who you are, You have to approve of you, and accept yourself in all your glory, believing that you are worth more than all of the earth's rubies put together and walk in the power of who you are. This is not arrogance, this is confidence.
Do the work necessary for you! Doing the work also require healing from past wounds or mistakes from the past. You are not your past and whatever happened doesn't define you. See and treat yourself with the highest honour and respect. By doing so you set the standards for others to step to you with the same energy and conduct! And in the event they don't have the capacity to, out of their own level or lack of self-love; they will have no choice but to depart from you and get on out of your presence. Period, case closed.
Approve of you and affirm yourself. Not seeking approval from others, approve of yourself and know your worth. This is so crutial and yet where so many of us fall short. It all starts with your self-talk, YOURS, not others. What are you saying to yourself? And how are you speaking life to yourself? We're all different in how we choose to do this, why not get started with daily affirmations, I wrote 30 Greatness Affirmations To Be the Best You! It will bless you and empower you to love yourself even more. Give it a try and let me know your favourite affirmation(s) 😉
Again, The She Coaches Greatness Journal Worksheet and Daily Planner can help you with that. See what you'll get from the Greatness journal! How can you not be even more amazing after that? 😎
*Practical tip: Get your FREE Greatness Journal. Invest time to meditate on who you are and check out the related blog posts How to Develop a Winning Mindset & 30 Greatness Affirmations To Be the Best You! Further reflections: Evaluate your self-worth; How would you rate how you feel about yourself out of 10? If not 10, what makes this gap and what would a 10 look like? Journalling on this will help you, download the She Coaches Greatness journal to get started.
3. Know What You Want (and confirm with actions)
What do you want? Out of life, out of your relationship, out of your friendships, for your family and children, for your purpose, for your finances, for your health, for your career and business?
What do you want? Be clear on this, and ask yourself if this is in line with your purpose and vision for your life. Ask yourself everytime you are presented with various opportunities. Once you establish this, know that you will be tested to stay on course until you get what you know you want or deviate from what you say that you want. The choice is yours, the most important part is being crystal clear on what it is, then making a choice to honour it.
So, let's say you want marriage; will you entertain someone who doesn't believe in marriage but wants all the benefits of being married without making you his Wife? The choice is yours.
Let's say you want to get out of debt; will you go into more debt when you see that credit card offer you got in the mail for that new purchase and mess up your finances? The choice is yours.
Let's say you want a healthy body; will you have a cheat day everyday or commit to that regimented workout routine and diet for a healthier lyfestyle? The choice is yours.
Do you get what I'm saying? Good. Know what you want and make the choice to honour it without compromises. Actions speak louder than words, that sets the standard.
4. Reflect What You Require
So if you are actively building character and growing as a person, taking care of yourself, walking in the power of self-love and knowledge of your self-worth, you know what you want and make it known through your actions; then you are in all fairness positioned to require and expect the complementary equivalent in return. It may not be in the exact same way but it will surely add to your life.
It is my humble opinion that we must be and reflect what we require from others. How else are we supposed to manifest greatness?
That said you'd be surprised how many individuals walk around making certain demands they cannot do themselves. That is hypocrisy and disillusion!
So the point is, be what and who you want first, so that what you require recognises you.
*Personal Reflections: Are you meeting the standards you seek? If yes, how can you continually improve and level up? What does the next level look like? How can you be more of a blessing to others? If no, what areas of your life need attention for character building? What can you start doing today to become what you require from others? Focus on you first and go through point 1,2 and 3 of this post so you can achieve point 4.
5. Rejoice in Your Femininity!
Ladies! One thing I love most about being a woman is the beauty and power of my femininity. It is powerful!
It's that nurturing spirit of gentleness and delicacy that can calm the most notorious of storms. I encourage you to step and rejoice in your femininity today; be you, stand, slay, boss up through the essence of your feminine energy. You will see how it will attract more blessings to you and the empire you are building.
*Practical tips: What connects you to your feminine energy? Do more of that. Relax and commit to self-care however this looks like for you.
6. Say No, unapologetically.
No is a full sentence. Be clear on what you will not accept, verbalise and action your boundaries.
This is crutial when striving for self-love and purpose. There needs to be clear boundaries that cannot be crossed, and behaviours that cannot be left unchecked. People will do what you let them get away with, and treat you to the extent you allow them to treat you. I'm speaking truth!
When it comes to relationships in my life and protecting my energy, I am cut throat and will not allow toxicity near me, only positivity and purpose. My boundaries are sacred, and I make a conscious choice each day to honour them in every area of my life and through every relationship. That Delete and Block button will be actioned promptly where it must, with no hesitation or apologies.
You will be tested, by others who will attempt to see how far they can push and get from you whether consciously or unconsciously. It is up to you to check that behaviour promptly and correct it through verbal correction and related action according to what you want and the standards you set, which will inevitably inform your boundaries. Put yourself first, protect yourself and whats important to you.
It may come in the form of a simple decline, or even a rupture by walking away from something or someone that contradicts your values and what you stand for. It may hurt or it may not, the principle remains the same; say no when required, unapologetically.
Love, with clear boundaries and most importantly, love and respect yourself enough to uphold the standards you need for your life. That's high standards, and that's self-love 🤍.
That's it. Let me know how you'll raise your standards and what resonated with you the most (including what actions you will take from this blog post).
Don't forget to get your FREE Greatness Journal + Daily Planner! You are worth the investment in yourself to grow in your greatness. There is no time like the present, why wait to download your copy? Get yours today.
Practices in this blog are suggestions only based on my experience. Please carry out your own research and seek professional advice if you need to. Remember, you've got this and you are great 🤍